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Friday, January 28, 2011

The Anomalous Olfactory Anecdotes of Brewslut

One of my favorite things about reviewing beers when brewslut (aka my wife) is in close proximity is her interesting way of describing beers’ aromas and flavors when I ask for her opinion.  This came about when she described a beer at one of Deuane’s tastings as smelling like “decomposing horsechestnuts.”  Her reputation for having peculiar tastebuds, as well as her knack for describing odd olfactory senses, soon preceded her and it eventually became a running joke of sorts amongst our circle of beer friends.  I found many of these so amusing, that, unbeknownst to her, I began to put a tag at the end of some of my beer reviews called “Brewslut’s Quote of the Day.”  So with that said, I give you an incomplete (though quite amusing) list of Brewslut’s Quote of the Day…

Sly Fox Rauchbier: "It's like drinking liquid bacon."

Oaken Barrel Snake Pit Porter: "Smells more like catbox porter."

Saint Somewhere Saison Du Chene: "This smells like the juice in a tuna can."

Marietta McLaren’s Scotch Ale: "It smells like sweatsocks."

Boulevard Long Strange Tripel: "Looks like there's tapioca suspended in there."

East End Blabber ‘n’ Smoke: "Smells like a smoked skunk."

Iron Hill Lancaster Rye IPA: "It's kind of soapy."

Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout: "I think it tastes like potatoes... boiled potatoes."

Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA: "Smells like vinegar and Easter Egg dye."

Famtone Chocolat: "Smells like liquid skunk."

Cantillon 50 Degrees North-4 Degrees East: "So I shouldn't say this smells like diaper pail?"

Great Lakes Grassroots Ale: "There's some sediment in that sucker."

Rogue Imperial Stout: "I think it smells like potato peels. Sorry!"

Rock Bottom Seismic Saison: "It smells like pickles... dill pickles."

21st Amendment Back in Black: "It has kind of a sinkwater smell."

Captain Lawrence St. Vincent’s Dubbel: "Bug spray."

Left Hand Oak Aged Imperial Stout: "Gaseous Windex."

Sly Fox Pikeland Pils: "I smell laundry detergent... like fabric softener."

Girardin Gueuze 1882 (Black Label): "This is like carbonated vinegar."

Port Brewing Midnight Expression: "It smells like pencil shavings."

Weyerbacher Quad: "Should I tell you that this smells like Aquanet hairspray?"

Boulevard Double Wide IPA: "I think it smells like the dried pineapple in our trail mix."

Highland Cold Mountain Winter Ale: "It smells like reception sticks." (Editor’s Note: “What the hell is a reception stick?!”)

Mikkeller Beer Geek Brunch Weasel: "I smell bark!"

Voodoo Pilzilla: "It smells like dried pasta."

Captail Lawrence Espresso Stout: "This is what I imagine ink would smell like in the ink well."

Founders Pale Ale: "I smell chocolate... it's the very first thing I smell." (Editor’s Note: “???????”)

Earth Bread + Brewery Santos L Halper: "It reminds me of that time you home-brewed and I got sick."

Rock Bottom Milk Chocolate Stout: "Uh-oh... a little bit of bologna."

Bullfrog Beekeeper: "I get pickled sweat socks."

Spring House Two Front Teeth: "It smells like burnt wood."

Three Floyds Moloko: "Roasted peanuts... I'm tellin' ya!"

Arbor Brewing No Parking Pilsner: "Smells like some kind of bologna."

Victory Donnybrook Stout: "It smells like suede... tastes like if you licked my purse."

Blue Point No Apologies Imperial IPA: "Mothballs."

Dock Street The Sass: "I think it smells like wet wood."

Dock Street Chupar Un Limon: "I think we need more growlers!"

Cantillon Lou Pepe Kriek: "It's like dark cherry Kool-Aid with Sour Patch Kids."

Le Grimoire Malt Aimee: "It smells like dried soybeans."

Victory Scarlet Moon: "Ring bologna... I'm telling you!"

Sly Fox O’Reilly’s Irish Stout: "That's brown sugar... the wet kind, not the dry kind."

Iron Hill Phoenixville Witbier: "I think it smells like... cereal."

Sprecher Black Bavarian: "I get a little bit of beef jerky... well, maybe not beef jerky... maybe soy sauce."

Stoudt's Heifer-in-Wheat: “It smells like licking butter.” (Editor's note: "I didn't know licking something would elicit an aroma!")

Dock Street Cuckoo’s Nest Red: "It smells a little bit like mushrooms."

Budweiser Chelada: "I have smelled vomit that was better than this."

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