The Memorial Day Weekend Trail

By now, most of our readers are well aware of our Memorial Day weekend drill. To refresh your memory, feel free to check out last year's account (Part I and Part II) as well as 2016's blog (the one that brought me out of retirement...or at least off of a lengthy hiatus), both of which delve into varying degrees of detail about this beer-soaked long holiday weekend.

Since Brewslut and I no longer train at the gym on Fridays (we switched to Thursday so as not to disrupt our weekend travel plans when they manifest), we hit the highway shortly after I got home from work. Aside from enjoying an extra night of beer activities, departing on Friday has the added benefit of being out of town for Annville's annual Memorial Day parade (I heard it's the largest in Pennsylvania), which storms right past our house on Main Street bright and early on Saturday morning. It's not that I have anything against celebrating the sacrifices of our fallen veterans; it's because we are literally land-locked until the parade ends in the late afternoon due to the location of our house.

So, we were off to NEPA, baby! Our first stop of the evening? Benny Brew Co. in Wilkes-Barre. We first visited last year on the very same weekend trip to DetFest and were pleasantly surprised by not only the quality of the beer, but the space itself. Since we enjoyed the outside beer garden last time around, we decided to set up shop in the main tasting room area. I spied two open stools in the corner of the front bar, so we snagged them quickly, as it was pretty packed inside. Looks like business is good for Benny & Co.!

Pleeps is ready!

Upon perusing the beer list, we decided to forego flights and get a pint each and share. It would be a one-and-done stop for us. I settled on the Buck Tree 80, an 8% NE-style IPA brewed with flaked wheat and oats, and hopped with Citra and Simcoe. Now, some hipster brahs might not find this particular "hazy" enough, but I had no complaints.

We really enjoyed out last visit to Breaker Brewing Company back in April, when we had a beer called Lime Life, a freaking delicious sour key lime IPA. Brewslut and I both agreed that it was far and away the best beer they've ever released. We've been following Breaker since the beginning (partly due to its coal region roots) and admittedly their beers have always been hit or miss. Well, it seems like they have things pretty dialed in right now. I heard they recently moved brewing operations away from the kitchen where they also prepare food for the pub customers. This was good thinking, as I'm sure the likelihood of contamination is pretty high under those circumstances.

The beer menu was brimming with interesting-sounding beers that looked amazing on paper. Let's see how some of them translated to the glass. My first selection was a 13-oz. pour of Strawberry Shortcake IPA. The grain bill for this cloudy, pinkish ale included wheat, spelt and flaked oats. Citra and Mosaic hops lent a tangy berry character with some juicy citrus fruit notes. But Breaker went all out with this one, as they conditioned this beer on copious amounts of fresh puréed strawberries, milk sugar, and Mexican vanilla beans. As if that wasn't enough, they double dry-hopped this concoction with Ekuanot. Their flavor notes for this beer had me salivating before I even took a sip: Notes of strawberry sherbet, vanilla custard, canned berry jam, papaya chunks, peach citrus, and candied pine sap. This beer was quite enjoyable, and both Brewslut and I deemed it the best of the bunch we had at Breaker during this particular visit.

Photo session with Pleeps!

Meanwhile, my partner in crime was working on a beer called Pinekiwi, a sharp yet sweet and refreshing sour IPA. First, they brewed with a mix of wheat and Pilsen malt and loads of flaked oats and left to sour for an undetermined amount of time. After souring, Citra and Mosaic hops joined the party. For dry-hopping, they added even more Citra and Mosaic, then dry-hopped one more time with Sorachi Ace to add lemon and soft herbal notes. To top it off, they conditioned the beer atop puréed pineapples, juiced kiwi, and Madagascar vanilla beans. Again, this beer was accompanied by some serious tasting notes: Notes of pineapple lifesavers, kiwi sorbet, lemon zest, dill weed, mango chunks, and vanilla icing. While this one didn't wow us like the Lime Life, it was quite tasty and shows Breaker finding its own niche with this type of beer. I look forward to more of these sour IPAs on return visits!

In case you were wondering what day it was...

For round two, I chose Mule Driver Mango, West Coast-style IPA brewed with mango. Breaker wasn't as verbose with their description or flavor notes for this beer. As a matter of fact, there wasn't really much information on this beer at all. This one was pretty hazy and boasted a strong, sweet tropical fruit aroma with mango at the forefront, making me think they used a ton of mango puree or even blended in mango juice to the beer, perhaps. Either way, it was tasty but a little too sweet and maybe even peppery for me.

Our final beer we got especially for Pleeps. He's always asking about banana beers, which are few and far between. So we got a sampler of the Banana Hazelnut Ale to appease him. Quite simply, this was a brown ale brewed with bananas and hazelnuts. Sounds like it would make a sweet dessert of some sort, but unfortunately bananas really don't lend much flavor or aroma to beer (if any), so what you're left with is a slightly nuttier beer than your typical brown ale. Oh well. It was a cool idea.

Beer aside, we also had an awesome conversation with a beer-loving couple next to us at the bar. We talked in detail about beer traveling specifically, which is always fun to recall past Pour Traveler treks to breweries far and wide. I had one last business card in my wallet, so if you're reading, I hope you enjoy the blog!

As usual, we ended the evening at Sabatini's, NEPA's craft beer mecca. One can always be assured a well-curated and diverse draft selection at this fine establishment. The pizza is legit too! This time, we were meeting two friends - Kristen and Erin - for additional conversation and good times.

Perusing the beer list, I'd forgotten about the recent Pizza Boy collaboration, a stone fruit IPA brewed with plums and apricots called Pizza Party. This is the second Pizza Party collaboration beer from Pizza Boy Brewing Co. and Sabatini's, and it was tasty! I find that plum flavor rarely translates well in beers, but here is was apparent. There was a nice dark fruit note paired with a juicier apricot presence that made for a sweet and tangy combination.

We're having a pizza party!!!

The day before the trip, I checked out the tap list for all of the breweries (as I typically do to get an idea of what I might want to drink), and noticed Adam from Hair of the Dog was on the list! Apparently, this Portland, OR, brewery is back to distributing into PA! Great news to me, because I freakin' love their beers! It had been a while since we enjoyed this beer (or any HotD beers, for that matter), so we decided to splurge on a full pint of this 10% ABV hearty old world ale and share it. For all intents and purposes, it's a barley wine. Or at least a strong ale. Either way, it's awesome! I'm glad to see HotD stuff in PA again after an extremely long hiatus. Finding their Blue Dot DIPA on tap while we're out in California is always a rare treat!

Kristen posing with Pleeps.

For our final beer, I'd been eyeing up an imperial stout (something barrel-aged, I'm sure, but the name of the beer escapes me, unfortunately) but it had recently kicked. Out of luck, I settled for a pour of Atmospheric Black Metal by Separatist Beer Project (aka the brewery formerly known as SOLE). I'd had tried this previously during our brewery field trip to the Martin Guitar Factory a few months ago. (Check out the full blog post.) I love their description for this one: "Atmospheric Black Metal is our really fucking metal’d out Imperial Cocoa Stout, conjured into being using the blackest of malts and conditioned on cocoa nibs harvested from the devils loins." Sounds like my kind of beer!

By the time we'd finished that beer, I knew it was time to hit the happy trail. It was fun to sit outside at Sabatini's for the first time, and with the added company of Kristen and Erin, it was an enjoyable visit. We scarfed down a delicious chicken and banana pepper pizza (my favorite combo), so my belly would be plenty full until the next day.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

For Saturday travels, I put together an itinerary taking us into upstate New York and looping back around to Montrose, PA, where the DetFest festival grounds are located. Our first stop of the day was in the quaint town of Owego, NY, about an hour and twenty-odd minutes from our hotel in Scranton.

We'd been to The Farmhouse Brewery enough even for me to know that its location was just outside of town. The key word in that last sentence, folks, is was. We had to double and triple-check the address of our destination, because our GPS (more fun with Garmin later in the weekend) took us right downtown. Turns out Farmhouse has new digs! Yup, the new tasting room is situated in the heart of downtown Owego, two doors down from the Owego Kitchen, where we'd enjoyed a nice lunch during last year's jaunt.

We parked in a free municipal lot back behind the new location that we hoped was on the other side of the building. We took a shortcut (a narrow alley connecting the lot to Owego's main drag) and - lo and behold! - there she was!

Always tons on tap at the Farmhouse!

It's always a challenge to pick what beer to drink at Farmhouse because they always offer a varied and extensive selection. Customers can opt for a "Taste of the Farmhouse" flight for $25, which includes a 2oz. pour of EVERYTHING on the board (in this case like 19 beers). This time around, we settled on a flight of four beers each, with the caveat that we'd enjoy a full pint of something else afterwards. I love it when a plan comes together. Here's the dilly-o, yo:

• Peachy Keen - Sour peach roggenbier (aka rye beer) brewed exclusively with NY ingredients
• Imperial Post Hole - DIPA with Centennial, Cascade and Chinook hops
• The Barb - Barrel Aged - sour rhubarb saison aged in wine barrels
• Thousand Pound Sow - Belgian quad brewed with two pounds of local maple syrup per gallon

Pleeps has taken flight at the Farmhouse!

I'd have to say that the Imperial Post Hole was my favorite of the lot. It was pretty juicy and well-balanced with a smack of grapefruit and soft mouthfeel. The Peachy Keen, which I was most excited to try, fell a little short of my expectations, unfortunately. The peach was a bit muted, and the spicy character of the rye seemed to dominate. The Quad was solid but maybe just a tad a thin overall for the style. I dug The Barb quite a bit, and the rhubarb seemed to play nicely with the wine barrel notes of dark fruit, oak, and vanilla.

Bathroom break! Had to snap a pic of this clever sign.

Full pour of Blind Alpaca, a straight up classic Porter with plenty of roast and coffee notes. Brewslut wasn't feeling it for some reason, but I thought it was well done. Perhaps the body wasn't quite as robust as I prefer, but the flavor was nice and roasty with equal parts cocoa and coffee.

Pleeps and a Blind Alpaca.

Pleeps was extremely photogenic during this trip, so we were able to snap many extra photos of him in action. Here's another:

Pleeps and O-We-Gose.

Pleeps was already starting to get a little tipsy, and this was only our first stop of the day. Slow down, eh!

Two-fisted Pleeps and his monkey paws!

It was time to move along to our next stop, but first Pleeps needed a quick nap to regain his composure.

Time for a little nap.

The brewery I was most looking forward to re-visiting was The North. Situated in the somewhat run-down village of Endicott, NY, the brewery itself is kind of rough around the edges (as it should be); the beer, however, is anything but. We thoroughly enjoyed our initial visit during the previous year's trip, and we were eager to dig in to the small but constantly rotating tap list. Sadly, we missed a recent IPA and Coffee Stout, both of which sounded amazing.

Down North is where I should be!

This time, the tap list was stout-heavy, featuring three stouts: an American-style, a Milk Stout, and a Chocolate Oatmeal Milk Stout with lactose. So, three of the available five beers were dark... and we have no problem with that! With that said, we both kicked off our visit with the lone IPA on tap, named Floor Rachel. This easy-drinker was hopped with Citra and Simcoe to provide an abundance of orange and grapefruit notes. This one really hit the spot. The mouthfeel was nice and soft, and the finish was super-clean.

Backdrop behind the bar at The North.

In typical Brewslut fashion, she recognized the bartender immediately as the same woman who slung our beer last year. She also remembered that we had a mutual friend in common, but for the life of us, we couldn't figure it out again. I also noticed an inordinate amount of WWF wrestling action figures strewn about the brewery. Some were posed in the front window and some were dangling from tap handles, while others were piled in a large plastic tub off to the side of the bar area. Someone at The North is a huge wrestling fan. And you could tell he was a legit fan. Sure, he had Hulk Hogan, Randy "Macho Man" Savage, The Ultimate Warrior, and many A-class wrestlers represented, but he also had some obscure guys like Cowboy Bob Orton and even Kamala... you know, the Ugandan giant! I'm surprised I remember him because I stopped following (i.e. outgrew) professional wrestling by the time of the original Wrestlemania in 1985 (which premiered just days after my 11th birthday).

It's a steel cage grudge match at The North!

OK, let's get back on track. Moving on to more about beer because that's why we're here, right? After our enjoyable IPA, I was in the mood for something different. I'll typically follow up a tasty IPA with a dark beer, preferably a stout. With that said, you'd think I'd go for one of the three stouts available. Nope. Let's do the Japanese lager. Enter Kampai Ichiban, a 3.2% ABV Japanese rice lager. Crisp, light and refreshing, this beer was very saki-esque with hints of white grape, melon and rice. Apparently this is the only "year-round" beer they brew regularly. It's cool to see something a bit unusual as a session beer at a brewery, and this one fits the bill nicely.

Meanwhile, Brewslut was digging into her pour of Orthos, the aforementioned chocolate oatmeal milk stout with lactose. Perhaps her inner mythology geek drew her to this particular beer. Why? In Greek mythology, Orthos is the name of a two headed dog, who is the brother of Cerberus. I was familiar with Cereberus but not Orthos. Hercules killed him, that son of a bitch! Oh well, we killed Orthos too... the pint, that is. That stuff went down so smoothly and wasn't overly sweet. This sucker was lush, rich, and cocoa-rific!

Pleeps chillin' with Orthos.

Based on our initial visit, it seems that the folks at North are prone to opening beers and sharing with customers. Today was no exception. One of our bartenders cracked open a bottle of what turned out to be my favorite beer of the weekend - Barrel Aged Big Bad Leather Daddy. This huge 12% Imperial Stout boasted complex notes of chocolate, tobacco, peat, roast, and a hint of smoke. Thick and chewy, the way it should be! I absolutely loved this beer!

Peek-a-boo! No gimp mask for Pleeps!

Speaking of cracking open beers, one of the guys also cracked open two Equilibrium cans - Mmm...Osa and Tachyon - as well as Trillium Scaled to share. Sweet! More Untappd fodder! That was mighty nice of him! I reciprocated by bringing in four different Troegs cans as a gift, to which I was additionally gifted a bottle of the excellent BA Big Bad Leather Daddy to take home. Schwing!

It was now time to ship off to our next stop, which takes us to Binghamton, NY. We decided to skip Galaxy this time, even though its literally right around the corner from Water Street Brewing Company, our next destination. We were already feeling a little fatigued due to the extra liquid at The North, so we settled on a pair of pints for this one-and-done stop. Beer aside, I also like the owner's taste in music. Looking around the tasting room, I noticed Judas Priest and Iron Maiden artwork, and even a Lemmy action figure! Now that's metal! 

I opted for the Surf and Slam, NE-style IPA. For someone who bitches about this style, I sure do order enough of them, eh? Brewslut ordered Head Smash, a single malt and single hop (S.M.A.S.H.) IPA brewed with Marris Otter malt and Ekuanot hops. Both were enjoyable and helped wash down our killer nachos with queso, black beans and guacamole.  

Now, it was back to Montrose for our final stop before heading over to DetFest. Endless Brewing is a perfect example of the kind of brewery every small town needs. We always encounter friendly patrons each time we visit, and the owners are super-nice! We even got to meet the new brewery dog (although her name escapes me at the moment). It's true, I suck with names. 

Up first was a pour of Hop Session, a 5.5% sessionable beer somewhere between a Pale Ale and an IPA. This one featured caramel malt notes with citrusy hops and a hint of pine. We also shared a short pour of the NEPA IPA, their take on a NE-style IPA. This one wasn't terribly hazy, and it was a bit more malt-forward than I typically like, but it was pretty tasty. Plus... NEPA, baby!

Sticking with the hoppy offerings, up next was a new IPA called Workin' Fool IPA, another variation of an IPA with a similar profile to the Hop Session but with more gusto. We finished up with a shared pour of E.B. Loves Jayne, a crisp hard cider brewed in house. 

There's usually a good flow of people in and out the doors of Endless during our visit, and this time was no different. We chatted with the owners for a while, especially after the crowd thinned out, and it was nice of her to say, "I was wondering when you guys would be stopping by!" Usually, people remember us by Pleeps (as evidenced by the folks at both Farmhouse and The North earlier in the day). So it was nice for the two of us to be remembered for a change (although Pleeps definitely relishes in his fame). I shared some Crimson Pistil cans with them, and they gave us two cans of their recently packaged Hop Session to take home and enjoy. Don't mind if we do! 

The colorful new chalkboard at Endless.

Soon enough, it was time to take off my beer hat and change into my drum hat. Yes indeed, it was off to DetFest for my fifth year in a row to melt some faces with my band herbie. I think I played pretty well considering I was drinking all day. I finished out the night with a few Sunshine Pils cans and, later, Perpetual IPA. Oh yeah, and a shot of Jameson for good measure... because, why not?

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

We woke up on Sunday morning somewhere in the vicinity of 9 a.m. The weather was cold and dreary. It rained all morning, making clean-up rather wet and, therefore, messy. We decided to skip Nimble Hill since we would have arrived more than an hour before they opened for the day. So, it was off to North Slope.

But first, sustenance!

We decided to use the address for Endless Brewing since we had no service with our phones, thinking our GPS would take us right past the civilized part of Montrose (you know, where there is actually stores and such). There was a pretty sweet convenience store called Pump N Pantry that had made-to-order food akin to your typical Sheetz or Wawa. However, our GPS went into full-on spaz mode and took us on an ass-backward route with unpaved dirt roads and lots of unnecessary turns. You know, the "scenic route." At one point, I experienced a slightly unnerving Deliverance vibe as we turned onto a narrow dirt road (strike that, a path) and drove by a few - let's call them dwellings - before I decided to turn the car around, opting instead for an actual paved road. The GPS would need to recalculate. Or, more appropriately, re-fuck-ulate, as Ricky would say. I think it took us half an hour to drive five-and-a-half miles when all was said and done. 

So, we finally made it to Pump N Pantry, where we enjoyed breakfast sandwiches, hash browns and coffee. We also enjoyed a quick wash up in the restroom, as we hadn't had the luxury of bathing this morning. 

After some much needed nourishment, it was off to North Slope in the town of Dallas, PA. We'd only been there once, (during our DetFest trek two years prior) so I was curious to see if they made any improvements, as I remember not being wowed by anything save for a dry-hopped Witbier (of all things). When we arrived, I noticed the sign on the door read "Closed." I thought perhaps someone forgot to flip the sign over to read "Open." As we parked, we saw a few women dressed somewhat fancifully (at least compared to my unbathed body donning soiled shorts, a sweaty wife-beater and unkempt hair) walking in with gifts and bottles of wine. I knew something was amiss. As I approached the entrance, I saw a white piece of paper taped to the door. Yes, indeed, they were closed for a private event until 1 p.m. I looked at my watch. It was barely 11:40 a.m. "Fuck this," I thought. "Let's get some tacos." 

Which is exactly what we did.  

Steve from Selin's Grove recommended an awesome taco truck called J Zapata situated in - of all places - Drums! I'd always wanted to visit the town (or as Wikipedia calls it, an "unincorporated community") for obvious reasons. We were familiar with the area, as we'd been to Conyngham Brewing a few times, which was about three miles south just down Rt. 93. Steve promised we'd enjoy "the most authentic Mexican food in PA." But do they have tamales? Answer. You bet yer sweet as they do! 

J Zapata taco truck in Drums, PA. Where else?

As we pulled up, I had to chuckle at the dichotomy of very loud rap music being blasted from a food truck serving authentic Mexican cuisine. There was also a sign that read, "So good, Trump wants to build a wall around it." Zing! We ordered three chicken tamales and three tacos Mexicanos with hot sauce and camped out in the dining area (two lopsided picnic table about 30 paces away from the truck). This shit was legit! I can't imagine ever visiting Conyngham Brewing without stopping here for tacos. Thanks Steve! 

Since we skipped Nimble Hill and were denied access to North Slope (hope you enjoyed your shower, bitches!), we decided on an impromptu visit to Conyngham Brewing, even though we were just there in April when Solar Federation played in nearby Wilkes-Barre at River Street Jazz Cafe. I was glad to see a few new beers peppering the menu. First up? Enigma IPA, a (yes, another) NE-style IPA brewed with hops from Australia and New Zealand. As the name implies, this one predominantly features the Enigma hop. I enjoyed this overall, but there was a faint nutty note in the finish that may have been the result of changing over the beer line to a new beer. This could have been the result of a previous dark beer that didn't get flushed out enough when the IPA went on tap. It was minimal, but perhaps my palate has become extra sensitive since I've been doing this for a while.

Brewslut went with the Peanut Butter Porter, a creamy, nitro-dispensed porter brewed with peanut butter. This was nice and creamy, but I already had my eye on my next beer, which would be a small 5-oz. pour while Brewslut finished up her PBP.

Did someone say peanut butter?

What beer, you ask? How about a Jalapeño Gose aged in Tequila barrels? This light bodied, mildly tart beer features sea salt, limes, and jalapeño peppers, which is then aged in tequila barrels. It seems like Conyngham has the pepper thing dialed in because I've enjoyed all of the jalapeño beers I've had there. Its Jalapeño Lager is a mainstay there, and I recommend it to anyone who stops by, even if you're hesitant about trying a beer with a bit of spicy heat. It's quite balanced and tasty with a pleasant flavor.

Meanwhile, Brewslut had moved on to her final selection, Somewhere on a Beach, a refreshing light bodied summer lager brewed with lemons and limes. Brewslut was digging this one much more than her previous choice. I had a few sips, and it was kind of like alcoholic Sprite, though not as spritzy as its soft drink doppelganger. This beer was appropriately named, though, as you could imagine sipping this refreshing, citrus-forward beer whilst relaxing beachside with your significant other. And with that, it was time to move on.

Since Berwick Brewing was in close proximity, we decided to swing by for a visit. I'll admit that our visits have been infrequent since Guy Hagner parted ways with Berwick many years ago. (Those of you who remember One Guy Brewing will remember Guy. Aaah, those were the days!)

The tasting room was pretty poppin' with peeps when we arrived, but we were able to snag the remaining two seats at the bar. Berwick always boats a full tap list of 20+ house beers, including 4 or 5 lagers at any given time, plus a variety of ales, wheat beers, darks and Belgian-inspired ales. I've always enjoyed the Hondo Keller Pils, an unfiltered Pilsner, but this time I noticed a Zwickel Pils on tap for the first time that I could remember. I was surprised to see this, as I always used the terms Keller and Zwickel interchangeably. Turns out they are slightly different. Zwickelbiers are weaker and not as full-flavored as a Kellerbier. The term "zwickel" refers to a small amount of beer taken from a barrel with the aid of a special siphon called a "Zwickelhahn." Another major difference is that a Zwickelbier is typically bottom-fermented, but a Keller is often top-fermented.

Brewslut opted for a full pint of the Dry Hopped IPA, which she wasn't too thrilled about. After my Zwickel Pils, I tried a half pour of a new beer called Fruhling Ale, a dry-hopped pale ale.

Unfortunately, both of us were less than thrilled with all three, as each featured a noticeable diacetyl finish. If you're not familiar, diacetyl is an off-flavor found in beers that elicits an unwanted buttered popcorn or butterscotch flavor. To delve a bit into brewing geekery, diacetyl is a natural occurring process of fermentation produced by yeast. The good news is, just as yeast produces diacetyl, it will also get rid of it. However, the beer needs to rest on the yeast for a few days after the fermentation process ends. This is a typical (for lack of a better term) "mistake" found in many beers, especially at small nano or microbreweries. I've encountered it many times, and my sensory panel training at my place of employment has only heightened my sensitivity of diacetyl. This is a blessing and a curse. I can deal with a hint of diacetyl. Unfortunately, I've encountered many, what I call "diacetyl bombs", where the diacetyl character completely dominates the beer's flavor. This is no bueno. While these three beers did have some promise, I just couldn't get past the diacetyl, which led to a less than enjoyable experience, unfortunately.

After our visit to Berwick, we headed over to our hometown of Shamokin to visit my mom before heading back to the ol' homestead. Sorry to end on a downer, folks. To remedy that, here's a sweet pic of Pleeps enjoying the day with us...

Stay tuned for our next installment of The Pour Travelers, a quick jaunt to Baltimore to attend a Primus and Mastodon concert with some beer worked in, of course. Until next time...

Fingerlakes April 2018: Part 2

Sunday was reserved primarily for wineries, but we were able to sprinkle in a pair of breweries along the way. Thankfully, I was feeling better on Sunday, thanks in part to my trusty Tussin and Ibuprofen. Not to delve too much into Dionysian tales of grape fermented goodness, I will say that the wine scene in the Fingerlakes is actually quite mature and the wines are of very high quality. I was hoping to find one or two nice Cabernet Francs in our travels, and much to my delight, it seemed EVERY winery had one. Apparently, the soil and climate of the region is suitable for this particular grape varietal. It also seemed like the 2016 vintages were the way to go, as that particular growing season was extremely fruitful. So needless to say, I got my Cab Franc fix on this trip, and I even procured a few bottles to take home when nothing else but a nice wine buzz will do.

But now, back to beer!

Our first of two breweries today was Grist Iron, located on the strip where drinking establishments littered the sides of the road for miles upon miles. We'd already visited a craft distillery and a few wineries before we switched gears for beer, so everyone had a hankering for some snackage (myself included). I was pleasantly surprised to see poutine-style tater tots with mushroom gravy (instead of the usual beef gravy). Brewslut and I shared (and quickly devoured) these scrumptious morsels, washing them down with some pretty solid beer to boot.

Tap handle action at Grist Iron.

I opted for a half pour of Ol' Buddy Ol' Pale Ale, a straight-up American Pale Ale hopped with Centennial four different times in the brew process. This proved to be a pretty pleasant, easy-drinking ale with a good pit of piney hops and light floral notes. Brewslut settled on Lake Life IPA, a Citra-hopped American IPA with a pretty substantial amount of bitterness (96 IBU) and notes of mango and grapefruit. Not bad, although I was enjoying my Pale Ale a bit more, I must admit. These days, it's extremely difficult to brew a memorable IPA that stands out from the pack. It can still be done, but with so many breweries brewing IPAs (after all, it is the quintessential American beer style to the majority of craft beer drinkers), most just get lost in the shuffle. But I drink them anyway, and move on. I equate drinking IPAs these days to chasing the dragon; I'm always trying to find that one perfect IPA. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of what I'd describe as "perfect IPAs" in my travels, but it still remains my favorite style and I will generally gravitate to an interesting-sounding IPA when presented with the opportunity. 

Interior of Grist Iron (with the Bodans back and to the left).

Adrienne offered a swig of her Ely Pilsner, and I must admit I thought it was a pretty solid interpretation of the classic German style beer that so many beer geeks find boring or passé. I personally appreciated a well-crafted pilsner for all its simplicity. You can't hid behind anything; it's four simple ingredients working in concert to create a very subtle, balanced beer. Anyone can triple dry-hop a lackluster IPA or throw a pedestrian porter in a bourbon barrel for 9 months and hope for the best. But to brew a fine pilsner is a true work of art, in my opinion. We're blessed to have so many great ones brewed right here in PA too (folks reading know the ones I'm talking about)! At any rate, I enjoyed this one and ordered my own pour to savor for the rest of our visit to Grist Iron.

Pleeps just hangin' out at Grist Iron.

Just a hop, skip and jump away from Grist Iron was our next stop, Lucky Hare. This place was arguably my favorite brewery of the weekend. Plus the tasting room was dog-friendly, and the folks here were quite jovial as well. Lucky Hare boasted one of those beer chalkboards that had me wanting to try virtually everything on tap. But the first one to jump out at me was Ned Ryerson. (Fans of Bill Murray's Groundhog Day will get the reference.) I assumed it was some kind of rye beer, and I was correct. Ned was indeed a Rye IPA with New York-grown Cascade and Chinook hops. This was an all-around nice semi-dry IPA with plenty of citrus notes and a spicy rye finish. Brewslut chose the Ballwebber, an orange session IPA. I'm not sure if this was brewed with orange or orange zest, or just referred to the flavor of the hops used, but this one was pretty poundable. Only one beer in each and we knew we'd found a winner.

What's on tap at Lucky Hare?

Up next, we went with the one-two punch of Falcon Punch and Millennial Falcon Punch, two very tasty IPA variations. Falcon Punch was a lovely golden-bodied East Coast IPA with a citrusy kick (or punch, right?) of grapefruit and lemon zest courtesy of Falconer's Flight hops (of course). Locally grown Cascade and Chinook hops rounded out the hop bill. The millennial version, on the other hand, was a hazy, imperial version of the standard Falcon Punch. This one features Maris Otter malt and flaked oats for a soft, round mouthfeel and the added "haze craze" effect. Then, of course, it's "dry-hopped to the max" with a constantly rotating assortment of hops. I had to chuckle a bit when I saw it was a hazy IPA. Millennial equates to "hipster" for most folks in their 40s (like this middle-aged man), so the slight dig on them wasn't lost on me. With that said, it was a damn fine beer!

But there was still more beer to be had! Right Pleeps?

Pleeps being Pleeps.

Meanwhile, the Bodans were working their way through a sampler flight, and Kit mentioned her affection for a beer named Uppers and Downers, a dark lager. I saw it on the board but kind of shrugged it off. But when I discovered it was brewed with local coffee, my ears perked up and I knew I had to have one. Plus it came with the endorsement of the Bodans, who are both bona fide coffee geeks in the same vein as I am with beer. I took a quick nip of their sampler, and quickly realized I needed my own pour. I don't come across dark lagers too often, and I will usually order one when I see one. But there were just too many other beers I wanted to try. Oh well, what's one more piled on top of a bunch of wine, other beers and a cocktail?

Them's some sweet rabbit ears!

Washkevich was also sucking down the Brotato #4, a hazy NE-style IPA, so of course I had to get some of that in my gullet. I couldn't find any additional information about this beer, other than it had been preceded by three other variations. Something tells me that it was brewed with Idaho 7 hops (Idaho = potatoes = brotato). Maybe that's stretching it a bit. You say Brotato, I say... you know what I mean. But it definitely had that complex, experimental hop flavor and somewhat strange finish that I couldn't put my finger on. While it was enjoyable, I preferred both Falcon beers over this one.

After we wrapped up our daytime drinking adventures, it was time to head back to the homestead for more fun. Brewslut was wiped out and retired for the evening after our make-your-own-taco-inspired dinner. Afterward, we opted for a rollicking round of the Exploding Kittens card game while we explored further imbibing. After the game, we decided it was time for some hot tub shenanigans before finally retiring for the evening at around 12:30 a.m. We needed to be out of the house by 10 a.m. so it was a good time to pack everything in.

Monday morning came quickly, and after a quick breakfast (which included a mead/cider hybrid from B. Nektar called The Dude's Rug), we cleaned up and packed our belongings to bid farewell to our home for the weekend. Brewslut and I took the day off from work (obviously), as we'd planned to continue our brewery expeditions for the remainder of the day. Sadly, the vast majority of the brewers in the immediate area were closed on Monday, or at very least, didn't open until late afternoon. Even Yorkholo, which was two hours away in Mansfield, PA, didn't open until 4 p.m. We were striking out everywhere we looked, so, defeated, we decided to just drive home and stop at Pizza Boy.

Not too far out of town, we drove past a place called Wagner Valley, and the sign out front said "Open" and also indicated wine and beer tastings inside. The place looked quite impressive from the outside, so we pulled a U-turn and popped in for a visit.

Save for employees, we were literally the only people occupying the building. The building itself was pretty awesome, with an interesting (albeit slightly confusing for a directionally-challenged person like myself) octagon-shaped floor plan. We passed through a spacious gift shop, restrooms, and several wine tanks before landing in the brewery tasting room. I could already sense that this was going to be worth our time for a quick stop.

My instincts were on-point, because all of the beers we tried were legit. I was also surprised to learn that its brewing operations got off the ground back in 1997. I was even more surprised that they weren't on my initial list of places to hit. Our bartender mentioned he'd been working there for about a year or so, and he did a little bit of everything. We was friendly and talkative, and I'm sure he appreciated some people stopping in who were knowledgeable and up for a bit of beer conversation. I'm sure it made his day (generally allocated as a cleaning day, from what we gathered) go a bit faster. Since we'd be driving for about four hours, I settled on a sampler flight of the following four beers:

• Cross-Section IPA - crisp IPA with floral and citrus notes
• Hop Tropic - bright and refreshing tropical fruit-forward with hints of mango and pineapple
• No Innuendos IPA - hazy, tropical fruit bomb brewed with lactose sugar and oats for a fluffy, dense body.
• Reserve Trippelbock - 10% ABV dark strong lager with a deep mahogany hue and bold flavors of caramel, toffee, and dark stone fruit. Thick and chewy but not too sweet.

I also tried a bit of Brewslut's Sugar House Maple Porter, which was quite delicious. From what we discovered, local maple syrup was almost as popular as the wine from this region. We came across several roadside stands and saw plenty of signs directing drivers to "local maple syrup ahead." This beer is brewed with pure New York "Sugar House" maple syrup and added a slightly sweet counterpart to the roasty porter. Think molasses and vanilla akin to Shoo Fly pie!

Back on our home turf, we swung by Al's of Hampden for a few new Pizza Boy offerings. It was nice to get there on a weekday to catch up with Al and Terry, both of whom I hadn't seen in a few months. We chatted about the upcoming beer for Ffej of July, but more on that later. Rickety Cricket, an espresso brown ale with toasted almonds and cocoa nibs, was quite delicious and full-bodied. I enjoyed this one more than I had anticipated. I also tried the newish Hop for Teacher, a Pale Ale dry-hopped exclusively with Eukanot for a floral nose with a punch of papaya. Brewslut had this during our last visit but somehow I missed. At just 5.5% ABV, it was quite crushable.

And with that, folks, the adventure concludes. Join us next time when we traverse the Earth for more frothy fermented goodness. Until next time...

Photo credit: Disco Tits.

Fingerlakes April 2018: Part 1

Situated only about four hours north of Central PA, the Fingerlakes region of upstate New York had eluded me for many years. Brewslut visited several years ago with a group of friends, but I was unavailable (likely due to pesky band obligations). However, the craft beer scene was still in its infancy in this region, dominated by an abundance of wineries.

Rather than the usual Team D(r)INK suspects, the cast of characters this time included four-fifths of my old 80's party rock cover band, Brazilian Wax. Awesome name, right? The brains (and disco tits... more on that later) behind the operation was Adrienne, girlfriend of my long-time musician buddy and studio wizard Mike. (I'd worked with Mike outside of Wax several times, as he's recorded my band herbie for various studio projects.) It was also right around his birthday, so we'd be surprising him with a little drunken soiree at some point during the trip. Also joining us were Mike and Kit (collectively known as the Bodans from here on out) and Kelly (whom you may remember from her role as Designated Driver during our Drinksgiving Trip to VA Beach back in November). the seven of us would be sharing a house right on Cayuga Lake, one of the larger lakes in the Fingerlakes region.

Our mission? To drink, of course! In addition to a host of great wineries, the beer scene was now also quite mature. There were even a few craft distilleries peppered throughout the area. Being the most obvious "beer guy" of the group, I was asked to put together a list of breweries for our itinerary. Sounds like a task in which I have ample experience. Based on the location from our house and the beers listed on each candidate's respective web site, I put together a list of about a dozen places I'd deemed worthy of a potential visit. The only place we absolutely HAD to visit was Two Goats, because... well... GOATS!

Our plan was to leave immediately after the last bell rang at Brewslut's school. We'd planned to meet at a Park & Ride in nearby Dauphin because our home was in the opposite direction. I ducked out of work a bit early so we could ensure getting to our destination at a reasonable hour. We landed at our home for the long weekend at around 7:45 p.m., just in time to down a beer before heading out to dinner, for which we had reservations at 8:15 p.m. Bodan (as he will be called from here on out... I never call a Mike by his first name, only his surname) picked up a few local six-packs on his way from Vermont, so I indulged in a bottle of Caged Alpha Monkey IPA from the unfamiliar CB Craft Brewers out of Honeoye Falls, NY (where the fuck is that?). It hit the spot after the lengthy 4-hour drive and with that, we were off to dinner.

While I don't recall the name of the restaurant, I did consume a yummy grilled chicken sandwich with mushrooms and Swiss, along with a side of sweet potato fries. Brewslut got the same thing minus the fries, and she was less than thrilled with her Caesar salad. C'mon, a salad? We're on vacation. Bring on the fries, I say! I washed everything down with a tasty Mocha Stout from nearby Bottomless Brewing (more on this brewery in a bit).

Friday night concluded with several hands of Cards Against Humanity (arguably the greatest game of all time) and my slow decline into a drunken stupor, which included a solo trip to the hot tub. Kids, don't try this at home, especially after about four pounder cans of Perpetual IPA. Luckily Adrienne came out to check on me because I was starting to nod off. (Washkevich, she's a keeper). Brewslut, on the other hand, couldn't have given a shit about my potential for drowning. Your wife... RIGHT! At any rate, I slept well that night.

I awoke at around 9 a.m. on Saturday morning, as instructed by the group. After a sweet mimosa, breakfast courtesy of the Bodan's, and a much needed shower (yes, my hair frizzes out sideways when introduced to the chlorine-saturated water of a pool or hot tub), we were off on our first afternoon of Fingerlakes fun.

First stop? Two Goats! I'd been excited to visit here for years based solely on its name alone. While we were on our way to Two Goats, I noticed that there was some kind of drinking establishment (brewery, winery or distillery) about every 500 to 1000 feet. I certainly appreciated the convenience of the lay of the land. Plus we had a DD in charge of the drunk bus, so that was an added bonus.

Two... two goats! Ah ah ah!!! (Photo by Kit Bodan)

I must admit, I was hoping to see some real, live goats at Two Goats... at least two of them. Sadly, there were no goats to be seen, other than the signage and merchandise strewn about the small garage-like tasting room. After perusing the list of about a dozen offerings, I landed on a pint of XIPA, which I assume stands for Extra India Pale Ale. Unfortunately, Two Goats doesn't subscribe to regaling its consumers with wordy descriptions of its beers or fancy, adjective-laden names. As a marketing guy, I found this somewhat disappointing, especially since the name of its brewery includes my favorite four-legged friends. The beer started off on the right foot but slowly devolved into a diacytl mess as it warmed up. The initial flavor was pretty solid and the body was nice and hefty, but I'm overly sensitive to the "buttered popcorn" flavor emitted by diacytl when it's present in beers. While the beer itself wasn't undrinkable, the diacytl presence definitely detracted from my full enjoyment of the beer.

Tap handles at Two Goats. (Photo by Kit Bodan)

Brewslut went with a pint of Danger Goat!, a blond Doppelbock that was OK in the grand scheme of things. But Two Goats gets bonus point for the name of the beer as well as the style. I seldom run into Doppelbocks on tap at small breweries, and I'm pretty sure I've never encountered a blond version. I guess there's a first time for everything, eh?

For a final beer, I bought a pint of Dirty Butt, a blend of Cream Ale and Dirty Shepherd Brown Ale, for the group. This one produced a nice layered effect a la Tequila Sunrise, but it definitely was prettier to look at than it was to imbibe. It wasn't very well-received. It wasn't bad, but let's just say the taste was closer to its namesake than not.

While I loved the vibe, goat imagery, and the overall atmosphere of the place, the beers fell a bit short of my expectations. Perhaps I was too excited to fulfill my goat quota for the day. Regardless, I was glad to have finally made it to this brewery after many years of longing to "get my goat on!"

Here's what you do with a dollar, a tack and some change. (Photo by Kit Bodan)

Rooster Fish was up next. Mike and Adrienne had stopped on their way to the house, and Mike gave the thumbs up. He mentioned a Coffee Blonde ale, and that was all it took to sell me on a stop. I mean, it was already on the itinerary, but we happened to be driving right through downtown Watkins Glen on our way to another brewery, so why not get two birds stoned at once? 

I really dug the vibe of the tasting room. It was open and cozy, with lots of warm, rustic wood decor and a sweet standing bar with some cool light fixtures. There was also an over-sized chess set near the board game area, complete with a coffee table and some comfy seating options. I love a good game of chess, but nobody was in the mood for a match with me. Well, except for Pleeps.

Pleeps... King of the Fingerlakes for a few days.

First on the agenda, a pour of the Coffee Blonde. I'd first encountered a string of light-colored coffee ales during our trip to Portland, OR two years ago, and I thought, "Damn! This trend needs to find its way to the East Coast." Well, I'm happy to report it has, and I jump at the chance to try a new one each time I come across one in our travels. This example was pretty solid, though not mind-blowing. As with Two Goats, I couldn't locate any information on any of Rooster Fish's beers aside from its handful of flagships. I'm assuming this one was brewed with local coffee, but who knows? Rooster Fish touts itself as NY's first farm brewery, so I suppose it's possible that they grow, harvest, and roast its own beans. Either way... NEED THE INFO!

Inside Rooster Fish Brewing.

Up next was a pretty nice Cocoa Porter. Again, no information to be found about this beer on the interwebs. However, the description I came across on Untappd made me chuckle.

Pours a clear dark brown body with a small ring of beige head. The nose is a nice mix of cocoa and chocolate malt, fairly dry smelling, some lighter notes of coffee and roast. The flavor is decent, a little heavy on the burnt caramel for a Porter, but some decent cocoa notes. A little roastiness on the finish. Mouthfeel is medium bodied with soft fizzy carbonation and a lingering chocolaty finish. Pretty decent stuff.

Sounds like someone needs to claim its brewery. This write-up hearkens back to my Beer Advocate reviewing days when I used to encumber myself with a notebook and pencil, and sit in the corner scrawling away and blathering on about mouthfeel, frothy off-white crowns of foam, cascading effervescence, and elaborate doily-like lacing decorating the walls of my shaker pint. These days, I just check in my beer and move along.

Anyone know what this is? Rooster Fish has one.

We also shared a pour of an NE-style IPA brewed with New Zealand hops, aptly named New Zealand Party-gyle. OK, at least the New Zealand part is apt. Not sure to what the Party-gyle refers. Either way, this was the best of the bunch, in my opinion. Overall, a nice soft mouthfeel with ample haze and a hop aroma boasting tropical fruit, melon and some citrus. This was a pretty solid interpretation of the style. Plus I love me some Kiwi hops! And with that, it was time to shuffle off across the street for a late lunch at a local Asian place. Brewslut and I split a sushi roll and both had Pad Thai (shrimp for me and chicken for her). Everyone concurred that the sushi was quite excellent, despite taking a very long time to get served, especially since the restaurant was virtually empty.

After filling our bellies, it was off to the next drinking destination, which happened to be Seneca Lake Brewing. This place is an anomaly in that they feature all cask conditioned beers exclusively. One of the first things I noticed aside from the long line-up of beer engines was signage plastered on the walls about a "No Cell Phone" policy. According to this rule, anyone using a cell phone for any reason other than to take pictures is subject to a $10 fine, which is donated to charity. While I'm not sure how enforceable this rule is, I appreciated it (even though I was going to check in my beers on Untappd no matter what the law of the land dictated inside this pub's doors). With that said, I would have loved to have witnessed some oblivious Millennial get bounced from the building for checking out his latest hipster app or logging into his Tinder account. (I still don't know what the fuck Tinder is; I merely know it exists and that young people use it.)

Beer engines as far as the eye can see!

Archie's Mild, a 3.8% English Mild, often referred to as the quintessential English session ale, seemed like an appropriate place to start. This offering was pretty middle-of-the-road with some pleasant toffee and cocoa notes. Brewslut opted for the Steamship Stout, a Foreign Export Stout brewed with Cascade and Fuggle hops. I haven't come across Fuggles in quite a while, so I was anxious to try this one. It turned out to be my favorite of the lot, and boasted complex notes of leather, tobacco, cocoa, and licorice with a faint smokey finish. This sucker was solid!

I rounded out the ensemble with Beerocracy Bitter, a classic English-style bitter weighing in at 3.6% ABV. Typically one of my favorite English beer styles (along with the more robust ESB, or Extra Special Bitter), this one missed the mark a bit for me. It was a bit thin and watery, and lacking flavor.

We had fun playing "Would You Rather," which is now apparently a card game you can purchase. We played this game for free in the herbie van (named Mangina, by the way) for many years, courtesy of our own warped minds. We don't need no stinkin' cards!

One thing I found to be peculiar was that Seneca Lake sold growlers of its beers. In all my years of beer traveling, I have NEVER come across a brewery willing to sell cask-conditioned beer in take-home containers. Given the high tourist traffic the brewery must receive, I suppose it makes sense to have some sort of take-out beer available, especially if the customers enjoy the beer and won't be back for the foreseeable future.

Outside Climbing Bines.

While our next stop, Climbing Bines Hop Farm, didn't make my final itinerary, I'm glad we stopped in for a while. Weather and gray skies aside, the land here was quite picturesque, especially for beer fans. Long rows of hop bine poles lined the landscape, and rock formations (reminiscent of the "inukshuk" on the cover of Rush's Test for Echo album) accented the courtyard area. This would be a perfect spot to take a stroll with beer in hand and enjoy the grounds of the brewery, but, of course, rain, mud, and cold weather stifled my plans, so Brewslut and I made our way inside while the rest of the group took a smoke break.

I just like this photo. (Photo by Kit Bodan)

I knew it was going to happen sooner or later on this trip. Yes, that's right, folks. WOO GIRLS! Anytime you see a young twenty-something woman wearing a sash, a "bride-to-be" T-shirt, or - worse of all - a tiara... well, you need to get as far away from them as possible. I thought Brewslut was going to blow a gasket. These women were drunkenly humping the foosball table, which happened to be a few short feet away from our table.

With Woo Girls flanking us in every direction, I knew I needed something substantial to dull the pain. Enter Barley's Wine, a 10.5% ABV American barleywine with equal parts boozy warmth and fruity hops. Part of Climbing Bines' "Pandemonium Line" of beers featuring hops grown on premises and  organic barley harvested just a few miles down the road at Peter Martens Farms, this sucker was smooth and hoppy. It went down way too easily for a double-digit ABV beer, and I'm glad I got a half pour. The bartender was trying to interest me in a $9 "keep the pint glass" of this beer, which would have been a ridiculous amount of such a big beer to drink while on a long brewery crawl (even for this seasoned pro). The other option was a plastic logo cup for $7.50. I opted for the kid's portion for $3.50, which was by far the best deal (both for my pocket and my liver).

Tap handles at Climbing Bines.

Brewslut opted for the Imperial IPA, also from its Pandemonium Line. Teetering just under 8% ABV, this guy was brewed with Cascade, Chinook and Nugget, then dry-hopped with Cascade for a big citrusy character. She also went for the kid's portion. Not bad overall, although I'm definitely I went with the barleywine, which I enjoyed immensely.

Speaking of Pandemonium, Brewslut was getting quite agitated with all of the oblivious cell phone zombies populating the area. Since we were huddled in a partly covered seasonal sitting area, the exit door was closed due to the chilly temperature. Thus, brewery management affixed a pretty large sign on the door - right at eye level, no less - indicating the following simple instructions: "Please keep the door shut. Thank you." After three customers in a row failed to oblige, I could sense Brewslut's temper beginning to percolate. Two more people passed through and also were unsuccessful in following these basic written instructions. Then all hell broke loose. Yes, the wrath of Brewslut was unleashed on the twenty-something patrons like the apocalypse. OK, so I may be over-exaggerating a bit. Let's just say everyone in the room heard her when she, quite loudly and audaciously, exclaimed in her booming schoolteacher voice, "Will you people please shut the fucking door?!" Coincidentally, the next person to pass through the door was a clearly mentally challenged young man, and even he had the wherewithal to comprehend the simple directions on the sign, and kindly obliged by shutting the door behind him as he exited. Chalk one up for the short bus. It was definitely an ordeal that made me refrain from using my cell phone for a while.

 

Hop bines. (Photo by Kit Bodan)

After the Woo Girl incident, it was time to head to our final destination of the day, Bottomless Brewing. the building was quite large and reminiscent of a cross between a huge barn and airplane hangar. Once we got out of the van, we could hear the strains of that horrendous Proclaimers song (you know, "I would walk 500 miles") being played at a very slow tempo. Sounds like we had some live music in store for us! As me made our way inside, there were two very young girls (one extremely drunk) hugging each other. The less drunk one was kind enough to open the door for us as we filed in. Unfortunately, I was the one who heard the drunk one say, "Don't open the door for them... fuck those people!" Wrong answer. I proceeded with the following zinger: "Have fun getting her home tonight. Looks like someone's gonna get raped." Fuck who?

Once we were inside, we noticed there were two separate floors. Downstairs was small and pretty cramped, with a small tasting bar along the right wall that accommodated maybe 10 or so people. After checking out our options, we ordered a pair of IPAs - Momo IPA and the aptly (and generically-named) IPA - and decided to explore the building. The Momo was definitely the better of the two IPAs we sampled. Of course, it was the hazy NE-style that prevailed. The other paled in comparison. Neither were memorable in the grand scheme of things, though.

Outside Bottomless Brewing.

Heading upstairs, we deduced that the band was housed on the second floor. The sound was pretty bad albeit not too loud, all things considered. I mean, we were in a large, wooden air hangar-like building with no soundproofing. Perfect for live music, right? Washkevich and I noticed a ping pong table at the far end of the room, and we rocked out a quick, semi-drunken game while the band tried its best to work its way through songs like "Piano Man" and "Sweet Caroline." One of the side effects of being a somewhat proficient musician is my unfortunate overly critical opinion of live bands when I come across them in my travels. I've stumbled upon some really awesome bands, and will typically let them know i appreciate their talents, either by tipping them, buying a CD, or just telling them so. Then there are bands like the one rocking out on this particular evening. "Sweet Caroline," eh? That's the hipster version of playing "Free Bird" or - God forbid - "Brown Eyed Girl." It could have been worse, though. It could have been "Wagon Wheel." That's right. Fuck that song. Fuck it up its stupid ass. Perhaps they saved it for the encore. Either way, it was our cue to move along.

However, a quick visit to the men's room revealed perhaps the greatest sink I've ever encountered... anywhere! Yes, it was a cow's backside, and the water came out of the teet. It was a happy coincidence that wasn't lost on me as we made our way back to the house. (You'll soon be privy to the coincidence in the following paragraphs.)

This sink is udderly awesome!

Back at the house on Saturday, it was time to party... disco style! But first, we had to distract Washkevich (the birthday boy) so the ladies could decorate. I was put on distraction duty, and the two of us grabbed a beer and retired to the game room for some billiards. Yes, that's right. Our house was fully equipped with not only a pool table, but also a ping pong table, cornhole boards and bags, an electronic dart board, flat screen TV, and a pair of kayaks, you know, in case we decided to embark on a drunken water sport adventure in the lake across the street. By this time, I was hammering pounder cans of Perpetual IPA and was ready to eat. After about half an hour or so, it was time to head back upstairs for our grill feast - complete with burgers, sausages, chicken, and all the fixins.

Bring on the Disco Tits!

We had a blast drinking and celebrating, which included a cake decorated to resemble quite a set of mammalian protruberences. Actually, all of the decorations were either breast or disco related, from the balloons to the disco balls to the boob-shaped squirt gun. (See? I told you the cow sink would tie in!) We even each got our own Disco Tits koozie. (If you're unfamiliar with Disco Tits, watch this video. I promise you will laugh... a lot.) I'm pretty sure more inappropriate games were played, and more drinking ensued, so much so that we never made it to the hot tub that night. It didn't matter. Fun was had by all. 

Stay tuned for Part 2, which includes... guess what?... more drinking! Until next time...

Photo courtesy of Disco Tits.