Fingerlakes April 2018: Part 2

Sunday was reserved primarily for wineries, but we were able to sprinkle in a pair of breweries along the way. Thankfully, I was feeling better on Sunday, thanks in part to my trusty Tussin and Ibuprofen. Not to delve too much into Dionysian tales of grape fermented goodness, I will say that the wine scene in the Fingerlakes is actually quite mature and the wines are of very high quality. I was hoping to find one or two nice Cabernet Francs in our travels, and much to my delight, it seemed EVERY winery had one. Apparently, the soil and climate of the region is suitable for this particular grape varietal. It also seemed like the 2016 vintages were the way to go, as that particular growing season was extremely fruitful. So needless to say, I got my Cab Franc fix on this trip, and I even procured a few bottles to take home when nothing else but a nice wine buzz will do.

But now, back to beer!

Our first of two breweries today was Grist Iron, located on the strip where drinking establishments littered the sides of the road for miles upon miles. We'd already visited a craft distillery and a few wineries before we switched gears for beer, so everyone had a hankering for some snackage (myself included). I was pleasantly surprised to see poutine-style tater tots with mushroom gravy (instead of the usual beef gravy). Brewslut and I shared (and quickly devoured) these scrumptious morsels, washing them down with some pretty solid beer to boot.

Tap handle action at Grist Iron.

I opted for a half pour of Ol' Buddy Ol' Pale Ale, a straight-up American Pale Ale hopped with Centennial four different times in the brew process. This proved to be a pretty pleasant, easy-drinking ale with a good pit of piney hops and light floral notes. Brewslut settled on Lake Life IPA, a Citra-hopped American IPA with a pretty substantial amount of bitterness (96 IBU) and notes of mango and grapefruit. Not bad, although I was enjoying my Pale Ale a bit more, I must admit. These days, it's extremely difficult to brew a memorable IPA that stands out from the pack. It can still be done, but with so many breweries brewing IPAs (after all, it is the quintessential American beer style to the majority of craft beer drinkers), most just get lost in the shuffle. But I drink them anyway, and move on. I equate drinking IPAs these days to chasing the dragon; I'm always trying to find that one perfect IPA. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of what I'd describe as "perfect IPAs" in my travels, but it still remains my favorite style and I will generally gravitate to an interesting-sounding IPA when presented with the opportunity. 

Interior of Grist Iron (with the Bodans back and to the left).

Adrienne offered a swig of her Ely Pilsner, and I must admit I thought it was a pretty solid interpretation of the classic German style beer that so many beer geeks find boring or passé. I personally appreciated a well-crafted pilsner for all its simplicity. You can't hid behind anything; it's four simple ingredients working in concert to create a very subtle, balanced beer. Anyone can triple dry-hop a lackluster IPA or throw a pedestrian porter in a bourbon barrel for 9 months and hope for the best. But to brew a fine pilsner is a true work of art, in my opinion. We're blessed to have so many great ones brewed right here in PA too (folks reading know the ones I'm talking about)! At any rate, I enjoyed this one and ordered my own pour to savor for the rest of our visit to Grist Iron.

Pleeps just hangin' out at Grist Iron.

Just a hop, skip and jump away from Grist Iron was our next stop, Lucky Hare. This place was arguably my favorite brewery of the weekend. Plus the tasting room was dog-friendly, and the folks here were quite jovial as well. Lucky Hare boasted one of those beer chalkboards that had me wanting to try virtually everything on tap. But the first one to jump out at me was Ned Ryerson. (Fans of Bill Murray's Groundhog Day will get the reference.) I assumed it was some kind of rye beer, and I was correct. Ned was indeed a Rye IPA with New York-grown Cascade and Chinook hops. This was an all-around nice semi-dry IPA with plenty of citrus notes and a spicy rye finish. Brewslut chose the Ballwebber, an orange session IPA. I'm not sure if this was brewed with orange or orange zest, or just referred to the flavor of the hops used, but this one was pretty poundable. Only one beer in each and we knew we'd found a winner.

What's on tap at Lucky Hare?

Up next, we went with the one-two punch of Falcon Punch and Millennial Falcon Punch, two very tasty IPA variations. Falcon Punch was a lovely golden-bodied East Coast IPA with a citrusy kick (or punch, right?) of grapefruit and lemon zest courtesy of Falconer's Flight hops (of course). Locally grown Cascade and Chinook hops rounded out the hop bill. The millennial version, on the other hand, was a hazy, imperial version of the standard Falcon Punch. This one features Maris Otter malt and flaked oats for a soft, round mouthfeel and the added "haze craze" effect. Then, of course, it's "dry-hopped to the max" with a constantly rotating assortment of hops. I had to chuckle a bit when I saw it was a hazy IPA. Millennial equates to "hipster" for most folks in their 40s (like this middle-aged man), so the slight dig on them wasn't lost on me. With that said, it was a damn fine beer!

But there was still more beer to be had! Right Pleeps?

Pleeps being Pleeps.

Meanwhile, the Bodans were working their way through a sampler flight, and Kit mentioned her affection for a beer named Uppers and Downers, a dark lager. I saw it on the board but kind of shrugged it off. But when I discovered it was brewed with local coffee, my ears perked up and I knew I had to have one. Plus it came with the endorsement of the Bodans, who are both bona fide coffee geeks in the same vein as I am with beer. I took a quick nip of their sampler, and quickly realized I needed my own pour. I don't come across dark lagers too often, and I will usually order one when I see one. But there were just too many other beers I wanted to try. Oh well, what's one more piled on top of a bunch of wine, other beers and a cocktail?

Them's some sweet rabbit ears!

Washkevich was also sucking down the Brotato #4, a hazy NE-style IPA, so of course I had to get some of that in my gullet. I couldn't find any additional information about this beer, other than it had been preceded by three other variations. Something tells me that it was brewed with Idaho 7 hops (Idaho = potatoes = brotato). Maybe that's stretching it a bit. You say Brotato, I say... you know what I mean. But it definitely had that complex, experimental hop flavor and somewhat strange finish that I couldn't put my finger on. While it was enjoyable, I preferred both Falcon beers over this one.

After we wrapped up our daytime drinking adventures, it was time to head back to the homestead for more fun. Brewslut was wiped out and retired for the evening after our make-your-own-taco-inspired dinner. Afterward, we opted for a rollicking round of the Exploding Kittens card game while we explored further imbibing. After the game, we decided it was time for some hot tub shenanigans before finally retiring for the evening at around 12:30 a.m. We needed to be out of the house by 10 a.m. so it was a good time to pack everything in.

Monday morning came quickly, and after a quick breakfast (which included a mead/cider hybrid from B. Nektar called The Dude's Rug), we cleaned up and packed our belongings to bid farewell to our home for the weekend. Brewslut and I took the day off from work (obviously), as we'd planned to continue our brewery expeditions for the remainder of the day. Sadly, the vast majority of the brewers in the immediate area were closed on Monday, or at very least, didn't open until late afternoon. Even Yorkholo, which was two hours away in Mansfield, PA, didn't open until 4 p.m. We were striking out everywhere we looked, so, defeated, we decided to just drive home and stop at Pizza Boy.

Not too far out of town, we drove past a place called Wagner Valley, and the sign out front said "Open" and also indicated wine and beer tastings inside. The place looked quite impressive from the outside, so we pulled a U-turn and popped in for a visit.

Save for employees, we were literally the only people occupying the building. The building itself was pretty awesome, with an interesting (albeit slightly confusing for a directionally-challenged person like myself) octagon-shaped floor plan. We passed through a spacious gift shop, restrooms, and several wine tanks before landing in the brewery tasting room. I could already sense that this was going to be worth our time for a quick stop.

My instincts were on-point, because all of the beers we tried were legit. I was also surprised to learn that its brewing operations got off the ground back in 1997. I was even more surprised that they weren't on my initial list of places to hit. Our bartender mentioned he'd been working there for about a year or so, and he did a little bit of everything. We was friendly and talkative, and I'm sure he appreciated some people stopping in who were knowledgeable and up for a bit of beer conversation. I'm sure it made his day (generally allocated as a cleaning day, from what we gathered) go a bit faster. Since we'd be driving for about four hours, I settled on a sampler flight of the following four beers:

• Cross-Section IPA - crisp IPA with floral and citrus notes
• Hop Tropic - bright and refreshing tropical fruit-forward with hints of mango and pineapple
• No Innuendos IPA - hazy, tropical fruit bomb brewed with lactose sugar and oats for a fluffy, dense body.
• Reserve Trippelbock - 10% ABV dark strong lager with a deep mahogany hue and bold flavors of caramel, toffee, and dark stone fruit. Thick and chewy but not too sweet.

I also tried a bit of Brewslut's Sugar House Maple Porter, which was quite delicious. From what we discovered, local maple syrup was almost as popular as the wine from this region. We came across several roadside stands and saw plenty of signs directing drivers to "local maple syrup ahead." This beer is brewed with pure New York "Sugar House" maple syrup and added a slightly sweet counterpart to the roasty porter. Think molasses and vanilla akin to Shoo Fly pie!

Back on our home turf, we swung by Al's of Hampden for a few new Pizza Boy offerings. It was nice to get there on a weekday to catch up with Al and Terry, both of whom I hadn't seen in a few months. We chatted about the upcoming beer for Ffej of July, but more on that later. Rickety Cricket, an espresso brown ale with toasted almonds and cocoa nibs, was quite delicious and full-bodied. I enjoyed this one more than I had anticipated. I also tried the newish Hop for Teacher, a Pale Ale dry-hopped exclusively with Eukanot for a floral nose with a punch of papaya. Brewslut had this during our last visit but somehow I missed. At just 5.5% ABV, it was quite crushable.

And with that, folks, the adventure concludes. Join us next time when we traverse the Earth for more frothy fermented goodness. Until next time...

Photo credit: Disco Tits.

Fingerlakes April 2018: Part 1

Situated only about four hours north of Central PA, the Fingerlakes region of upstate New York had eluded me for many years. Brewslut visited several years ago with a group of friends, but I was unavailable (likely due to pesky band obligations). However, the craft beer scene was still in its infancy in this region, dominated by an abundance of wineries.

Rather than the usual Team D(r)INK suspects, the cast of characters this time included four-fifths of my old 80's party rock cover band, Brazilian Wax. Awesome name, right? The brains (and disco tits... more on that later) behind the operation was Adrienne, girlfriend of my long-time musician buddy and studio wizard Mike. (I'd worked with Mike outside of Wax several times, as he's recorded my band herbie for various studio projects.) It was also right around his birthday, so we'd be surprising him with a little drunken soiree at some point during the trip. Also joining us were Mike and Kit (collectively known as the Bodans from here on out) and Kelly (whom you may remember from her role as Designated Driver during our Drinksgiving Trip to VA Beach back in November). the seven of us would be sharing a house right on Cayuga Lake, one of the larger lakes in the Fingerlakes region.

Our mission? To drink, of course! In addition to a host of great wineries, the beer scene was now also quite mature. There were even a few craft distilleries peppered throughout the area. Being the most obvious "beer guy" of the group, I was asked to put together a list of breweries for our itinerary. Sounds like a task in which I have ample experience. Based on the location from our house and the beers listed on each candidate's respective web site, I put together a list of about a dozen places I'd deemed worthy of a potential visit. The only place we absolutely HAD to visit was Two Goats, because... well... GOATS!

Our plan was to leave immediately after the last bell rang at Brewslut's school. We'd planned to meet at a Park & Ride in nearby Dauphin because our home was in the opposite direction. I ducked out of work a bit early so we could ensure getting to our destination at a reasonable hour. We landed at our home for the long weekend at around 7:45 p.m., just in time to down a beer before heading out to dinner, for which we had reservations at 8:15 p.m. Bodan (as he will be called from here on out... I never call a Mike by his first name, only his surname) picked up a few local six-packs on his way from Vermont, so I indulged in a bottle of Caged Alpha Monkey IPA from the unfamiliar CB Craft Brewers out of Honeoye Falls, NY (where the fuck is that?). It hit the spot after the lengthy 4-hour drive and with that, we were off to dinner.

While I don't recall the name of the restaurant, I did consume a yummy grilled chicken sandwich with mushrooms and Swiss, along with a side of sweet potato fries. Brewslut got the same thing minus the fries, and she was less than thrilled with her Caesar salad. C'mon, a salad? We're on vacation. Bring on the fries, I say! I washed everything down with a tasty Mocha Stout from nearby Bottomless Brewing (more on this brewery in a bit).

Friday night concluded with several hands of Cards Against Humanity (arguably the greatest game of all time) and my slow decline into a drunken stupor, which included a solo trip to the hot tub. Kids, don't try this at home, especially after about four pounder cans of Perpetual IPA. Luckily Adrienne came out to check on me because I was starting to nod off. (Washkevich, she's a keeper). Brewslut, on the other hand, couldn't have given a shit about my potential for drowning. Your wife... RIGHT! At any rate, I slept well that night.

I awoke at around 9 a.m. on Saturday morning, as instructed by the group. After a sweet mimosa, breakfast courtesy of the Bodan's, and a much needed shower (yes, my hair frizzes out sideways when introduced to the chlorine-saturated water of a pool or hot tub), we were off on our first afternoon of Fingerlakes fun.

First stop? Two Goats! I'd been excited to visit here for years based solely on its name alone. While we were on our way to Two Goats, I noticed that there was some kind of drinking establishment (brewery, winery or distillery) about every 500 to 1000 feet. I certainly appreciated the convenience of the lay of the land. Plus we had a DD in charge of the drunk bus, so that was an added bonus.

Two... two goats! Ah ah ah!!! (Photo by Kit Bodan)

I must admit, I was hoping to see some real, live goats at Two Goats... at least two of them. Sadly, there were no goats to be seen, other than the signage and merchandise strewn about the small garage-like tasting room. After perusing the list of about a dozen offerings, I landed on a pint of XIPA, which I assume stands for Extra India Pale Ale. Unfortunately, Two Goats doesn't subscribe to regaling its consumers with wordy descriptions of its beers or fancy, adjective-laden names. As a marketing guy, I found this somewhat disappointing, especially since the name of its brewery includes my favorite four-legged friends. The beer started off on the right foot but slowly devolved into a diacytl mess as it warmed up. The initial flavor was pretty solid and the body was nice and hefty, but I'm overly sensitive to the "buttered popcorn" flavor emitted by diacytl when it's present in beers. While the beer itself wasn't undrinkable, the diacytl presence definitely detracted from my full enjoyment of the beer.

Tap handles at Two Goats. (Photo by Kit Bodan)

Brewslut went with a pint of Danger Goat!, a blond Doppelbock that was OK in the grand scheme of things. But Two Goats gets bonus point for the name of the beer as well as the style. I seldom run into Doppelbocks on tap at small breweries, and I'm pretty sure I've never encountered a blond version. I guess there's a first time for everything, eh?

For a final beer, I bought a pint of Dirty Butt, a blend of Cream Ale and Dirty Shepherd Brown Ale, for the group. This one produced a nice layered effect a la Tequila Sunrise, but it definitely was prettier to look at than it was to imbibe. It wasn't very well-received. It wasn't bad, but let's just say the taste was closer to its namesake than not.

While I loved the vibe, goat imagery, and the overall atmosphere of the place, the beers fell a bit short of my expectations. Perhaps I was too excited to fulfill my goat quota for the day. Regardless, I was glad to have finally made it to this brewery after many years of longing to "get my goat on!"

Here's what you do with a dollar, a tack and some change. (Photo by Kit Bodan)

Rooster Fish was up next. Mike and Adrienne had stopped on their way to the house, and Mike gave the thumbs up. He mentioned a Coffee Blonde ale, and that was all it took to sell me on a stop. I mean, it was already on the itinerary, but we happened to be driving right through downtown Watkins Glen on our way to another brewery, so why not get two birds stoned at once? 

I really dug the vibe of the tasting room. It was open and cozy, with lots of warm, rustic wood decor and a sweet standing bar with some cool light fixtures. There was also an over-sized chess set near the board game area, complete with a coffee table and some comfy seating options. I love a good game of chess, but nobody was in the mood for a match with me. Well, except for Pleeps.

Pleeps... King of the Fingerlakes for a few days.

First on the agenda, a pour of the Coffee Blonde. I'd first encountered a string of light-colored coffee ales during our trip to Portland, OR two years ago, and I thought, "Damn! This trend needs to find its way to the East Coast." Well, I'm happy to report it has, and I jump at the chance to try a new one each time I come across one in our travels. This example was pretty solid, though not mind-blowing. As with Two Goats, I couldn't locate any information on any of Rooster Fish's beers aside from its handful of flagships. I'm assuming this one was brewed with local coffee, but who knows? Rooster Fish touts itself as NY's first farm brewery, so I suppose it's possible that they grow, harvest, and roast its own beans. Either way... NEED THE INFO!

Inside Rooster Fish Brewing.

Up next was a pretty nice Cocoa Porter. Again, no information to be found about this beer on the interwebs. However, the description I came across on Untappd made me chuckle.

Pours a clear dark brown body with a small ring of beige head. The nose is a nice mix of cocoa and chocolate malt, fairly dry smelling, some lighter notes of coffee and roast. The flavor is decent, a little heavy on the burnt caramel for a Porter, but some decent cocoa notes. A little roastiness on the finish. Mouthfeel is medium bodied with soft fizzy carbonation and a lingering chocolaty finish. Pretty decent stuff.

Sounds like someone needs to claim its brewery. This write-up hearkens back to my Beer Advocate reviewing days when I used to encumber myself with a notebook and pencil, and sit in the corner scrawling away and blathering on about mouthfeel, frothy off-white crowns of foam, cascading effervescence, and elaborate doily-like lacing decorating the walls of my shaker pint. These days, I just check in my beer and move along.

Anyone know what this is? Rooster Fish has one.

We also shared a pour of an NE-style IPA brewed with New Zealand hops, aptly named New Zealand Party-gyle. OK, at least the New Zealand part is apt. Not sure to what the Party-gyle refers. Either way, this was the best of the bunch, in my opinion. Overall, a nice soft mouthfeel with ample haze and a hop aroma boasting tropical fruit, melon and some citrus. This was a pretty solid interpretation of the style. Plus I love me some Kiwi hops! And with that, it was time to shuffle off across the street for a late lunch at a local Asian place. Brewslut and I split a sushi roll and both had Pad Thai (shrimp for me and chicken for her). Everyone concurred that the sushi was quite excellent, despite taking a very long time to get served, especially since the restaurant was virtually empty.

After filling our bellies, it was off to the next drinking destination, which happened to be Seneca Lake Brewing. This place is an anomaly in that they feature all cask conditioned beers exclusively. One of the first things I noticed aside from the long line-up of beer engines was signage plastered on the walls about a "No Cell Phone" policy. According to this rule, anyone using a cell phone for any reason other than to take pictures is subject to a $10 fine, which is donated to charity. While I'm not sure how enforceable this rule is, I appreciated it (even though I was going to check in my beers on Untappd no matter what the law of the land dictated inside this pub's doors). With that said, I would have loved to have witnessed some oblivious Millennial get bounced from the building for checking out his latest hipster app or logging into his Tinder account. (I still don't know what the fuck Tinder is; I merely know it exists and that young people use it.)

Beer engines as far as the eye can see!

Archie's Mild, a 3.8% English Mild, often referred to as the quintessential English session ale, seemed like an appropriate place to start. This offering was pretty middle-of-the-road with some pleasant toffee and cocoa notes. Brewslut opted for the Steamship Stout, a Foreign Export Stout brewed with Cascade and Fuggle hops. I haven't come across Fuggles in quite a while, so I was anxious to try this one. It turned out to be my favorite of the lot, and boasted complex notes of leather, tobacco, cocoa, and licorice with a faint smokey finish. This sucker was solid!

I rounded out the ensemble with Beerocracy Bitter, a classic English-style bitter weighing in at 3.6% ABV. Typically one of my favorite English beer styles (along with the more robust ESB, or Extra Special Bitter), this one missed the mark a bit for me. It was a bit thin and watery, and lacking flavor.

We had fun playing "Would You Rather," which is now apparently a card game you can purchase. We played this game for free in the herbie van (named Mangina, by the way) for many years, courtesy of our own warped minds. We don't need no stinkin' cards!

One thing I found to be peculiar was that Seneca Lake sold growlers of its beers. In all my years of beer traveling, I have NEVER come across a brewery willing to sell cask-conditioned beer in take-home containers. Given the high tourist traffic the brewery must receive, I suppose it makes sense to have some sort of take-out beer available, especially if the customers enjoy the beer and won't be back for the foreseeable future.

Outside Climbing Bines.

While our next stop, Climbing Bines Hop Farm, didn't make my final itinerary, I'm glad we stopped in for a while. Weather and gray skies aside, the land here was quite picturesque, especially for beer fans. Long rows of hop bine poles lined the landscape, and rock formations (reminiscent of the "inukshuk" on the cover of Rush's Test for Echo album) accented the courtyard area. This would be a perfect spot to take a stroll with beer in hand and enjoy the grounds of the brewery, but, of course, rain, mud, and cold weather stifled my plans, so Brewslut and I made our way inside while the rest of the group took a smoke break.

I just like this photo. (Photo by Kit Bodan)

I knew it was going to happen sooner or later on this trip. Yes, that's right, folks. WOO GIRLS! Anytime you see a young twenty-something woman wearing a sash, a "bride-to-be" T-shirt, or - worse of all - a tiara... well, you need to get as far away from them as possible. I thought Brewslut was going to blow a gasket. These women were drunkenly humping the foosball table, which happened to be a few short feet away from our table.

With Woo Girls flanking us in every direction, I knew I needed something substantial to dull the pain. Enter Barley's Wine, a 10.5% ABV American barleywine with equal parts boozy warmth and fruity hops. Part of Climbing Bines' "Pandemonium Line" of beers featuring hops grown on premises and  organic barley harvested just a few miles down the road at Peter Martens Farms, this sucker was smooth and hoppy. It went down way too easily for a double-digit ABV beer, and I'm glad I got a half pour. The bartender was trying to interest me in a $9 "keep the pint glass" of this beer, which would have been a ridiculous amount of such a big beer to drink while on a long brewery crawl (even for this seasoned pro). The other option was a plastic logo cup for $7.50. I opted for the kid's portion for $3.50, which was by far the best deal (both for my pocket and my liver).

Tap handles at Climbing Bines.

Brewslut opted for the Imperial IPA, also from its Pandemonium Line. Teetering just under 8% ABV, this guy was brewed with Cascade, Chinook and Nugget, then dry-hopped with Cascade for a big citrusy character. She also went for the kid's portion. Not bad overall, although I'm definitely I went with the barleywine, which I enjoyed immensely.

Speaking of Pandemonium, Brewslut was getting quite agitated with all of the oblivious cell phone zombies populating the area. Since we were huddled in a partly covered seasonal sitting area, the exit door was closed due to the chilly temperature. Thus, brewery management affixed a pretty large sign on the door - right at eye level, no less - indicating the following simple instructions: "Please keep the door shut. Thank you." After three customers in a row failed to oblige, I could sense Brewslut's temper beginning to percolate. Two more people passed through and also were unsuccessful in following these basic written instructions. Then all hell broke loose. Yes, the wrath of Brewslut was unleashed on the twenty-something patrons like the apocalypse. OK, so I may be over-exaggerating a bit. Let's just say everyone in the room heard her when she, quite loudly and audaciously, exclaimed in her booming schoolteacher voice, "Will you people please shut the fucking door?!" Coincidentally, the next person to pass through the door was a clearly mentally challenged young man, and even he had the wherewithal to comprehend the simple directions on the sign, and kindly obliged by shutting the door behind him as he exited. Chalk one up for the short bus. It was definitely an ordeal that made me refrain from using my cell phone for a while.

 

Hop bines. (Photo by Kit Bodan)

After the Woo Girl incident, it was time to head to our final destination of the day, Bottomless Brewing. the building was quite large and reminiscent of a cross between a huge barn and airplane hangar. Once we got out of the van, we could hear the strains of that horrendous Proclaimers song (you know, "I would walk 500 miles") being played at a very slow tempo. Sounds like we had some live music in store for us! As me made our way inside, there were two very young girls (one extremely drunk) hugging each other. The less drunk one was kind enough to open the door for us as we filed in. Unfortunately, I was the one who heard the drunk one say, "Don't open the door for them... fuck those people!" Wrong answer. I proceeded with the following zinger: "Have fun getting her home tonight. Looks like someone's gonna get raped." Fuck who?

Once we were inside, we noticed there were two separate floors. Downstairs was small and pretty cramped, with a small tasting bar along the right wall that accommodated maybe 10 or so people. After checking out our options, we ordered a pair of IPAs - Momo IPA and the aptly (and generically-named) IPA - and decided to explore the building. The Momo was definitely the better of the two IPAs we sampled. Of course, it was the hazy NE-style that prevailed. The other paled in comparison. Neither were memorable in the grand scheme of things, though.

Outside Bottomless Brewing.

Heading upstairs, we deduced that the band was housed on the second floor. The sound was pretty bad albeit not too loud, all things considered. I mean, we were in a large, wooden air hangar-like building with no soundproofing. Perfect for live music, right? Washkevich and I noticed a ping pong table at the far end of the room, and we rocked out a quick, semi-drunken game while the band tried its best to work its way through songs like "Piano Man" and "Sweet Caroline." One of the side effects of being a somewhat proficient musician is my unfortunate overly critical opinion of live bands when I come across them in my travels. I've stumbled upon some really awesome bands, and will typically let them know i appreciate their talents, either by tipping them, buying a CD, or just telling them so. Then there are bands like the one rocking out on this particular evening. "Sweet Caroline," eh? That's the hipster version of playing "Free Bird" or - God forbid - "Brown Eyed Girl." It could have been worse, though. It could have been "Wagon Wheel." That's right. Fuck that song. Fuck it up its stupid ass. Perhaps they saved it for the encore. Either way, it was our cue to move along.

However, a quick visit to the men's room revealed perhaps the greatest sink I've ever encountered... anywhere! Yes, it was a cow's backside, and the water came out of the teet. It was a happy coincidence that wasn't lost on me as we made our way back to the house. (You'll soon be privy to the coincidence in the following paragraphs.)

This sink is udderly awesome!

Back at the house on Saturday, it was time to party... disco style! But first, we had to distract Washkevich (the birthday boy) so the ladies could decorate. I was put on distraction duty, and the two of us grabbed a beer and retired to the game room for some billiards. Yes, that's right. Our house was fully equipped with not only a pool table, but also a ping pong table, cornhole boards and bags, an electronic dart board, flat screen TV, and a pair of kayaks, you know, in case we decided to embark on a drunken water sport adventure in the lake across the street. By this time, I was hammering pounder cans of Perpetual IPA and was ready to eat. After about half an hour or so, it was time to head back upstairs for our grill feast - complete with burgers, sausages, chicken, and all the fixins.

Bring on the Disco Tits!

We had a blast drinking and celebrating, which included a cake decorated to resemble quite a set of mammalian protruberences. Actually, all of the decorations were either breast or disco related, from the balloons to the disco balls to the boob-shaped squirt gun. (See? I told you the cow sink would tie in!) We even each got our own Disco Tits koozie. (If you're unfamiliar with Disco Tits, watch this video. I promise you will laugh... a lot.) I'm pretty sure more inappropriate games were played, and more drinking ensued, so much so that we never made it to the hot tub that night. It didn't matter. Fun was had by all. 

Stay tuned for Part 2, which includes... guess what?... more drinking! Until next time...

Photo courtesy of Disco Tits.